she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
