# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do vagina's smell?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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