Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
