Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
