I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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