I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize