Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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