Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
