what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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