I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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