Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
