I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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