I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
