i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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