ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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