i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
