What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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