I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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