why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
third nipple confirmed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
