I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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