She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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