I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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