Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
