Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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