who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize