Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
