but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize