My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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