worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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