it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Im part way to drunk.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
