i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
