My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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