i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
