The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
