dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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