Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
