ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
