We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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