I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Damn victory sex feels great
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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