god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
