i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
