i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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