i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
