After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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