So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
