Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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