We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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