i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
