Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize