I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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