I wanna bring you to show and tell
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
