ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
