dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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