Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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