OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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