16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize