i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
