My balls are so social today.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
