I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
