My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
