I hope mine doesn't look like that
Say something about gay babies.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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